What do you want? A question that we get asked or we ask ourselves all throughout our lives. Think about it. How often have you had to make a decision involving your wants?
Let's flip the script. What about what you don’t want? When we focus on what we don't want, we set boundaries that maintain structure and protect our happiness.
Imagine: You order your favorite cheeseburger from your go-to restaurant. Your consistency isn't lacking, as you order the same burger every time. When you receive your cheeseburger, it is loaded with tomatoes and mustard, both of which, you do not like. How do you react? You wanted the burger. You got the burger. However, it was not made to your liking. Do you send it back or do you eat it unhappily?
This scenario can be mirrored in all aspects of life, whether it be our personal life, love life, or career. One of the biggest lessons I have learned is to stop chasing what I want and recognize what I don’t want. That has been key to the way I shape my existence.
Previously, I wanted the job, but I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t with the right company, in the right role, involved in the right culture, or working with the right people. Once I switched my mindset and allowed myself to recognize what I dont want, everything changed. Previously, I made a list of the things I loved about every company I have ever worked for. I took that list and added what I didn’t like, what I didn't want, and the reasons I left. It was eye-opening.
If you are leaving a situation, a relationship, or a career, it's most likely because of what you don’t want, right? So why aren’t we - by default - asking ourselves and the people around us, "What don’t you want?" That is the important question and the key to truly learning about yourself and others.
Be kind to yourself. Be kind to your mind. Be you, and do it unapologetically.
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